i realized today that i was on the verge of going 'too far' when the profanity of profanities escaped my lips as casually as an article. that's right. the big one. i said g**damn. and immediately my heart froze. and i've been thinking about it all night. i've never said that word before. even when i wasn't sure there was a God. and now i know that this has to end. i can't go down that road. it may seem like small potatoes to most of you, but to me it's one step down the wrong path. no. one giant leap down the wrong path. and it shook me awake. i preach to myself about being me all the time. and the real me does not say that word. the real me does not dare.