i've lost all ambition. i don't know what the hell i'm doing anymore, nor do i care. it's just back and forth to work, stuffing food into my filthy mouth in record time so as not to be late, and going to bed way earlier than anyone my age should. i thought getting a job would pull me together. turns out all it's done is given me something new to do during the day instead of watching tv. i'm still not going anywhere. and i'm just sitting here festering, getting worse and worse by the hour. sometimes i can feel myself descending into hell and i can't even scream. i don't even think i want to scream. i'm just folding my arms now, tapping my foot impatiently. in a word - waiting. same thing i've been doing my entire life. and apparently i'm not getting sick of it. so i guess i'll keep waiting. who cares anymore anyway?

i don't want to be here tonight.

current music: taking back sunday