i talked to my parents. about everything. i even told them I was afraid of them. afraid that they wouldn't let me return home if i left and couldn't hack it.

and the strangest thing happened. for the first time i can ever recall, they acknowledged the fact that i am indeed an adult. and part of being an adult is doing what you think would make you happy without having to ask permission. and (get this little nugget), since i am, in addition to being an adult, their son, i will never be unwelcome in their house. turns out they were only concerned about me not having a place to stay or food to eat.

who knew?

weird, because their leniency and understanding has led me to think twice about my actions. now it's not so much a matter of escaping the bonds of my tyrannical parents. now it's about me and what will make me happy. since the pressure is off, i can take a step back and think about what i'm doing before i take off in the middle of the night with a bag of clothes and a pillow. and though the thought still appeals to my desire for drastic change, it does not appeal to my intellect and plain ol' common sense.

new game plan: earn money first. restore my truck to a dependable state.

make plans concerning where i will live and who i will live with before i go.

enroll in school as soon as i pay them for last semester.

this is not the stupid, reckless, ridiculous, fantastic plan that i had 3 days ago. but after all, i am not stupid, reckless, or ridiculous. and since all that's left is fantastic, i suppose that means i can wait until it is also safe.

current music: funeral for a friend