i've got that urge to run away again. it hit me suddenly about 5 minutes ago. my heart's bouncing in my chest like a rubber ball and my mind is shuffling through scenes from my past so fast i can't even remember why i'm here. these urges are much more dangerous now that i have a vehicle. luckily, the right front wheel and the steering wheel are not actually attached to the truck right now. anyway, i've just got that feeling again that i've made a huge mistake. that if i stay here i'll ultimately regret it. but now i've gotten myself in debt and i've got to get a job and i can't just pick up and move away. i waited around too long and now the door behind me has closed. so stop your foolishness, jon. just keep going forward. sitting in the dark will only make you want to go to sleep.

after all, this is what new year's is all about right? starting over.

yeah....whatever.

current music: denison witmer