yesterday's entry = momentary lapse of reason.

i'm not joining the military.

hell no!

i'm thinking again about moving back up to cleveland. i really can't stand it here anymore. i'm going nuts. of course i know that i should get a job and get a car and work on paying off some of my loans before i srike out on my own, but i'm so impatient. i hate all this waiting around. but i still haven't figured out what i'm waiting around for.

that's a good question that i've never thought to ask myself. what am i waiting for? things won't get better unless i work to make them better. i can't wait for life to fall in my lap because it hasn't been fully constructed yet. right now all i'm doing is creating a big hole in the wall. what am i so afraid of?

what am i afraid of?

i don't know, but i'm scared out of my mind.

it's not supposed to be like this. i never wanted it to be like this. i'm so stuck, but i don't know what i'm stuck on. like i'm being held back by some mysterious hand in the dark that won't let me turn around and see who's arm it's attached to. (bad grammar)

hmm...christopher simpson knows what i mean.

current music: the gloria record

"dream over."