i prayed last night. i made no bones about how i was feeling or how much i'd probably let Him down. but i think God appreciates honesty. i couldn't live with myself anymore. all i know is, when i had God i wasn't alone, and now i am (was). and it feels good to talk to him again. i'm not alone anymore. and i value that more than ever now. lessons that are learned hard are often learned well. let's hope that is the case in this instance.

but i've got a long way to go. and it's going to take a long time to heal. an hour's worth of damage could mean a lifetime of correction. i've only got one and it's not going to be nearly enough. but if i give my best - myself - i think i'll be ok. i don't pretend that everything is ok now, because it isn't. i have alot of bad habits to break, alot of attitudes to deal with. but honestly, who doesn't? the most important thing right now is that i have come home.

we'll work the rest out one day at a time.

current music: death cab for cutie