i've been seriously thinking about not going back.

but if i don't go back, where would i go? i can't stay here. this place sucks the life right out of me. i've been playing video games for the past 3 weeks for hours on end. i haven't written. i hardly ever read. i'm transforming back into my old self - the introverted, pimple-faced, scared-to-try-anything-new, sit-at-home, incredibly lazy kid that i was in high school. i don't want to be him again. he sucked.

but what do i do now? go to a different school? get a job? move out on my own? this world is very hard on people like me - the weak ones. i don't doubt it's almost as hard, if not equally as hard, for everyone else.

i was doing fine until i got on here and started reading everybody's diaries. fuck this. i'm not reading anymore diaries ever again. and i mean that.

i've got to get out of here.

FUCK!!!!!!!

i feel like throwing things. screaming. beating the shit out of someone with a baseball bat. i haven't had a good tantrum since i was in high school. i think it's about time for another one. why am i boiling? who cares. if i wanna boil i'll boil. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. and that'll do it.