I haven't felt like writing in weeks and I don't like it one little bit. I am drained of all desire to do anything except sleep. School starts back in one week and I'm not ready. I'm not ready for papers and reading and getting up and going to class. All I want to do is sleep. I'm not really depressed. Just numb. I don't feel anything except tired. I haven't been eating well. I haven't been sleeping well. I sit around this house day and night (because I have no car) and soak in this numbing liquid called loneliness. I'm so lonely I don't even want to call anybody. I'm not sure that makes any sense, but it's true. Things will be better, at least in that department, next week when I move back on campus. All my friends will be back and I won't need a car. Maybe things will be better then.

It's raining. I think I'll go stand outside and see if God will wash away this numbing agent. I want to feel something. It may as well be moisture.