I've been thinking about the uncertainty of my future, which always brings about this dull aching panic that sits in the back of my throat and makes it hard to swallow. I've almost convinced myself I don't have what it takes to be a writer. And I've been thinking about psychology alot. And I've been thinking about how I always give up on things just before I get really good at them. And I've been thinking about Terri and how I'm going to say what I have to say to her that makes me so excited and happy and nervous all at the same time. Every thirty second silence brings the words to the tip of my tongue, but I just can't bring myself to say "so let's talk about us." And I've been thinking about how I've never had a girlfriend and she is probably going to be my first one (my fingers are crossed) and how I have no idea what I'm doing but she doesn't seem to notice or mind. And I've been thinking about how great that is of her. And I've been thinking about how I really like this girl and it's not just a junior high crush. I really like this girl. And I've been thinking about how I'm going to pay off my school bill when I graduate. And I've been thinking about how I'm pretty sure I'm never going to live at home again. And I've been thinking way too much. And I've been thinking about how some of my closest friends have changed and how I don't like some of it. And I've been thinking about how I need to get back on track with my relationship with God. And I've been thinking about how I'm actually not going to drink on my birthday because the only reason I would do it is to impress my friends. And screw that. And I've been thinking about how I wish I had a car. And I've been thinking about how great my parents are even though I can't live with them. And I've been thinking about how much I miss my sister now even though I never really hung out with her even when she was here. I just liked seeing her everyday at work. And I've been thinking about how I need to start exercising because I'm not just skinny, but also wussy. And I've been thinking about how I wish I could read every book in Books-A-Million (more like books-a-thousand). And I've been thinking about how freaking good that coffee was that Terri brought me at work that day and how I wish I could have another cup. And I've been thinking about how these are the best years of my life. And they truly are. And I've been thinking about my general inexperience in life and how I feel like everybody's older than me (even the people that are physically younger). And I've been thinking about how I'm going to take care of a girlfriend if I'm an immature wuss. And I've been thinking about how I've been thinking. And this is the complete contents of my brain. Welcome to my thought life.