just the prospect of returning to school has injected new life into me. i suddenly feel like i have a purpose. a reason. i don't want to run away anymore. all i want to do is get a job and start saving money for books and tuition. now i have a reason to get a job! it's nice to have a goal. and where i have failed before, this time i will succeed. i've seen everything from the outside now and i've had a chance to objectively consider my past actions and the failures that came from those actions. and i have confidence in myself that i will not repeat those mistakes again. i know who to stay away from. i know that i'm not going to miss anything if i stay in and study instead of going out with the guys all night (missing 5 months straight will put these little things into perspective). i can do it. i have to prove to myself and to my parents and to anybody that doesn't believe that i have changed that i really have. i have to give it one more shot. and i'm aiming straight for the heart.

current music: denison marrs